I’m going to take a minute to vent about something I usually wouldn’t even take the time to write out. However, I find this situation highly immature and SO annoying; I just can’t help myself this time. I can’t get over it, as it’s been going on for thee entire time Justin and I have been together! There is a back story, so just bear with me while I try to make this as clear as possible for all readers.
Back in 2002-2003 Justin had a semi-serious girlfriend. They dated for about 8 solid months, but towards the end of their relationship Justin had made it very, very clear he didn’t feel the same way about her as she felt about him. He moved to Columbus early in order to break ties completely (hopefully) with her. She was still a senior in high school and he was either a freshman or sophomore in college- I really can’t remember (and it’s not important). According the Justin, she was very clingy. If he was running ten minutes late at getting to her house, a fight would ensue. She didn’t like when he played music, she didn’t like when he would spend time with his family…things along those lines. She wanted every breathing minute of his time. He felt suffocated, as would any normal human being. In any healthy relationship, obviously those things/feelings would be a problem.
Said girl was pretty unstable from time to time, and still is (clearly), very unstable. She always seems to be looking for something, anything, someone, anyone to make her feel…something/anything, I guess?! She is always in the midst of moving---New York, Boston, Chicago, Columbus, yadda, yadda, yadda. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day she said she was opening up a sweat shop in China- I shit you not!!! God only knows. She is still living in Bowling Green, Ohio. She went to college, and didn’t/couldn’t make it. She is now employed at a bar in the area as a server/bartender. She was half way ‘normal’ when they dated, and since has cut her hair very short, is always drastically dying it and got a shit ton of big, noticeable tattoos. Not that there is anything wrong with the above, but again…it’s like she’s trying SO hard to fill a void. She was SUPER pretty and still is relatively attractive if you are into the look she sports. I would love to believe she has changed a lot since they dated. I would honestly love to think she has done some growing up and moving on over the YEARS. However, time and time again she proves me (and Justin) wrong.
Justin and I have been friends since high school because we hung around the same group of people. We continued to remain friends when he moved 2 doors down and we became neighbors. Even further, we were pretty close friends through college at different points. During the time he was dating above girl, I didn’t really associate with him much. After they broke up, we got close. I would go down to his parent’s house (2 doors down from my parent’s house) and listen to him play music, hang out with his family and sister, our mutual friends, watch movies---whatever. During my junior and senior years of college (2005-2006) Justin and I were really good friends. In fact, a lot of people thought we were dating. This was never, ever the case; we never technically dated until we dated now. During this time period, I would like to remind readers that it was a solid TWO- THREE YEARS after Justin and above girl broke up. And, I’d like to remind everyone they dated ONLY 8 months! Most importantly, we literally were ONLY friends. I vividly remember her calling his parents house and asking for him. He would have to tell his parents to tell her that he was not there, as he didn’t want to talk to her. I remember Justin’s cousin getting calls from ‘crazy’ asking how he was doing and where he was at. I remember said girl trying to even be MY friend, in hopes to get information about Justin, as if I was retarded.
About March/April 2006, I ended up with a really serious boyfriend, whom I dated for almost 2 years. Again, during this time period in 2006, Justin and I didn’t talk much. When his parent’s sold the neighboring house and they moved into a rental house and to South Carolina, we started being friends again. This was the end of summer/beginning of fall…2007. Again---a now solid FOUR years after said girl and he broke up.
About March/April 2006, I ended up with a really serious boyfriend, whom I dated for almost 2 years. Again, during this time period in 2006, Justin and I didn’t talk much. When his parent’s sold the neighboring house and they moved into a rental house and to South Carolina, we started being friends again. This was the end of summer/beginning of fall…2007. Again---a now solid FOUR years after said girl and he broke up.
Justin bought his house in May of 2007 and she was still in touch with him from time to time. Still in 2008 she was in touch with him. Justin and I started hanging out a lot by the winter of 2007 and into early 2008. My boyfriend and I (at the time) ended things March 2008, and Justin and I moved forward with our relationship in April/Mayish 2008. Said girl would call him wanting to get breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, drinks, anythinggggg in order to see him during this time period. The lowest point was when she literally told Justin she wanted to have a “date with Puss N Boots” who is Justin’s CAT!!!! It was like she was desperate to see and talk to him, because she knew we were dating at this point. Justin, of course, told me these conversations and how uncomfortable they made him, and how he didn’t really know how to respond to her. She would call saying she was having problems with her alcoholic boyfriend and that she wanted his advice. She would call saying she wanted to catch up with him before she moved to wherever she was going at that point in time. She did visit the house at one point, saying she was moving---I think?! In my mind, she wanted to make a pathetic and desperate attempt to do anything in her power to get in the way of him dating me. She made it clear she didn’t like the friendship/relationship we had, even though he (nor I) ever did anything to mess with their relationship back in 2003 when they were together.
In October 2008, she was still in touch with him. After one of the last nights she was in touch with Justin via a phone call, she had the guts to send me a Facebook message. We were not friends, nor were we Facebook friends. I truly believe she thought Justin didn’t tell me the points of contact, and she wanted to get him into some sort of trouble. I responded back to the message she sent me saying I was aware of the contact, and that she shouldn’t worry about “stepping on my toes” as I totally understood her wanting to be friends with him. I also let her know that he was an adult and he could make his own decisions about being in contact with her- I had no part in that. I let her know that if Justin really did care to be in contact with her though, that I had a feeling he would be getting in touch with her more often than never. I also made her aware that people can in fact, be friends with ex’s if it’s done in the correct way. She’s not really talked to either of us since. I guess I got my point across, right?!
More recently, Justin and I have been in the restaurant/bar she works at. A lot of our friends enjoy going to her place of employment, so we don’t feel like we should limit our contact with friends because of her. She never says anything to us personally. She has radar, so I know she notices that we are there---more specifically with friends. She sometimes acknowledges our friends, but never us, or sometimes she totally ignores the entire situation. I could care less either way. Justin however feels very uncomfortable being there---until recently.
The most recent situation to arise out of this monstrosity is the following:
Justin’s 2 best friends and another good guy friend were out on Friday night. They were sitting at the bar drinking, and said girl was their bartender. At first she ignored them, and then she did approach and start a conversation with them. During the conversation, she said “So, I hear that my ex and that bitch are getting married?” To Justin’s BEST friend’s surprise…he didn’t know what to say really. He responded with, “Yeah, they’re getting married in St. Thomas and it’s going to be fucking awesome!” I’m not sure what she expected the response to be. I know that Justin’s friends like me and I know they would never say anything bad about me---especially to HER. I also know they are really excited that Justin and I are getting married. I really don’t know why she even CARES at this point, to be completely honest. It’s literally been going on EIGHT years since they were dating, it was when she was in high school, so she needs to freaking leave our relationship alone. I also am not sure what went through her mind---did she really think that Justin’s core group of guy friends wouldn’t tell him/me she said this?!
I don’t really know why I care so much or why I let it get under my skin. It’s exactly what she wants to happen. I think it bothers me most because it’s like she still clings to some hope that it might not really happen. This is totally false, and even if Justin and I were not together, were not getting married---there is not a single chance in HELL he would even consider a relationship with her again. She needs to move on. Neither of us care about her or talk shit about her (until she does something like this), so she really should just grow up and concentrate on something else. It blowssss my mind. I can’t imagine still being obsessive over my high school boyfriend. It’s ridiculous. She’s ridiculous.
Not only has this gotten under my skin, she has now sparked something inside Justin. He now really wants to visit her at the bar she works at to show off my rock. If she doesn’t notice---Justin would love to make it a point to bring it up---to her face, since obviously she doesn’t have the guts to say anything to our faces, but only behind our back. I am for this, as I like being the “bitch” she insists I am. I have no problem with showing her the real bitch in me by shoving my effing ring into her eyeball and saying---TAKE THAT slutbag. Leave me and us alone, grow up and get a freaking life. Then, I’d walk out. Justin would be a little more tactful about it. If she ignores us, he wants to say hi to her. He also wants to say something about getting married to “this bitch” so that she knows we know she’s talking crap---to our best friends. She is messing with the wrong girl. She’s messing with the wrong guy. And, she’s messing with the wrong group of friends entirely!!
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